Decision Dr

Yes "Butting" or Excuses, Excuses!

Does the title of this article sound familiar? It should----since most of us, at one time or another,assume that attitude when at a crossroad and unable to move forward. In other words, we feel stuck. Let's examine an all too familiar one that many individuals face today. 

You're dismissed from a job you've held with one company for ten years, as a software analyst. You've been asked to clean out your desk, given a hand shake and a somewhat adequate severance pay that will hold you for perhaps six months. (That is, if you're lucky) Ha!

It's so easy to feel negative and realistically depressed, given the state of our economy today.

Networking as a means to explore other positions "ain't what it used to be" you'll agree.Yet you wisely call on friends, colleagues, and various other contacts, but to avail. Any suggestion by well-meaning individuals to begin "thinking outside the box" is met with derision by you. And no wonder. The expression has become somewhat hackneyed. Yet, it wouldn't hurt to begin a bit of soul searching and consider a wide array of possibilities. Let's try to be positive and ignore the title of this article, shall we?

1. I can begin to explore related or even remotely related possibilities such as technical           writing either related or unrelated to software design.

2. What other means for making a living have I thought about,various times in the past?

3. What have I fantasized about, but dismissed as being too outlandish?

4.  Is there anything I've thought about recently that I've never thought about before?

5.  Is there a hobby I have that may be developed into a small business, even temporary.(photography).

6. How could I use the internet to develop a consultancy, not necessarily related to computers?

I've given you a beginning which I hope you wont have to face. But who knows, It could turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you. Call me if you wish to pursue this further.

Divorce----Should I Or Shouldn't I? Another Glance At Indecision.

The ramifications of divorce are taking on even greater significance as we've reached  2010. The state of the economy, home foreclosures,unemployment, and the issue of health care for all, represent a myriad of factors that influence the decision to keep a marital relationship intact, regardless of the mutual suffering, or the decision to "call it quits".

Though not a participant in one of my "decision" workshops, at first, Hank sought assistance from me regarding the dilemma he was battling regarding his marriage. Married for twenty years, he came to the realization that at age fifty he was bored with his wife, his marriage, and life in general. While both he and his wife were receiving couples counseling from another therapist. he decided to attend one of my weekly workshops. His indecisiveness regarding the outcome of his marriage, revealed more than the growing mismatch of their relationship, as other group members agreed that Hank's "angst" was more a matter of the realization that he was beginning to face his mortality for the first time in his life.

Following further meetings, with both me and other group members, Hank began to gradually realize that his confusion, despair, and struggle with his depression were more closely related to the realization that he had no idea of the meaning of his life, that went beyond a marital relationship. He began to feel that he needed to explore other elements in his life such as his spiritual beliefs, personal passions related to unfulfilled goals that he had disregarded, and the quest for newer adventures.

Interestingly, his spouse, we learned, was on her renewed journey which unsurprisingly began to bring them closer. We continued to focus on his personal issues for the next several months when he decided it was time for him to move on and concentrate on his marital relationship and discovering  "who I am".

Can any of you identify with some of the elements which Hank began to recognize, and perhaps continue your own journey?